Thanks Oak Park, IL my new heels are covered in Dog shit

Okay usually as a writer I have something to “say” or write about, and this shithole Oak Park, IL is usually the bane of my existence so I write about that. However, do you know what I have been doing the last three days? Cleaning. Dog. Shit. Off my yellow Seychelles heels, I got from DSW four months ago! DOG SHIT!

I know what you are thinking:

Was she drunk as hell and just walked straight into a pile of shit, the lush?

Was she out late at night, dressing provocatively and this is the Universe telling her “don’t be out at night” type of thing?

Was she out late at night, and probably needs glasses because she did see that big pile of steamy shit, the dumb bitch??

The Answer is no to all that shit.

In fact, it was around 5:30 pm-ish when I came home I was just not paying attention. I know that is one of my golden rules when living in Oak Park, IL: do not let your guard down, pay attention. Well, I was on the phone with Sarah and talking about the weekend when I walked into a fresh pile of dog shit on the sidewalk. And obviously, it was a big dog or a human being who decided take a dump on the side of the main sidewalk in front of my building on Harvey. And either the owner did not clean up because they were too fucking lazy, or the latter I was just dealing with a disgusting human being who thought it was funny to take a shit. Right there. In front. Of the building.

If you know the type of shoes I am talking about you will realize I knew immediately I stepped in a fresh pile of shit. You know OPEN TOE heels it was so nasty I had to go immediately to the basement and wash not only my heel off but foot as well. It was so fucking nasty. I cried because I just started to wear these heels out and they complimented a bunch of outfits.

I had to use bleach, tomato sauce and three types of soap on my foot because it stunk like shit and this was on Monday so it was not like I had the weekend to get the smell out! Then my shoes I had to wash dry then wash again multiple times, I wiped it down with antibacterial wipes and then some lemon juice. After two days of airing out I think I can wear them but now I got like PSTD from this event that every time I look at them I think of stepping in squishy dog shit. Thanks, Oak Park, IL thanks.

My disdain for Oak Park will never leave

Being a student of psychology, I hate to use labels and psychological terminology. But having lived and escaped from Oak Park, I swear I experience some sort of Post-Traumatic Stress whenever I come close to this town or have to drive through it.  For those who may think that statement goes too far, I beg to differ.

My heartbeat accelerates, my eye begins to twitch, I sweat, I curse, and my anger is stimulated.  All of this, as a result of living in Oak Park.  They say that life experiences can change you.  Well living in Oak Park changed me.  And not for the better.

For as long as I can remember, living out south in my youth, I always looked at Oak Park, through the lenses of an immature child. The full trees, along with the manicured and immaculate lawns, almost always drew me in. Well until I actually stepped out of the car, and begin to walk and experience the streets of Oak Park.

If the stress of avoiding dog poop, like landmines that are almost everywhere are not enough, try living near elderly white women who approach other’s like it is their duty to direct the village. Or how about digesting on a daily basis the name of Ernest Hemingway or Frank Lloyd Wright, whom this town utilizes in every marketing ploy imaginable.

Having had the opportunity of living there, I also experienced the lack of parking (I had to move my car at least two or three times a day to abide by the various parking restrictions), news reports on individuals from neighboring towns (the west side of Chicago) coming to this “precious” area to break into homes or cars, or businesses opening up one day, to be shut down the next (damn I miss Falafel).

It is not the hippie-loving easy going atmosphere that I presumed it to be.  It is overly congested, overly populated (with people and dogs) with know it all’s that embrace a very sheltered form of living.

The idea of “vintage” is actually a management’s office way of not updating the apartments. From my experience, painting already chipped “lead based” walls is not the same as updating the apartment.  But if you like to use the word “vintage” like Oak Park almost always does, keep in mind you may have old broke down living arrangements.  Thanks “Green plan management”!

There are many other great suburbs or towns to live in, that are not far from downtown.  After living in Oak Park, I opted out for one of these calmer cities that do not evoke my anxiety to levels of rage. You may want to do the same or at least consider it if you are thinking “No Park” I mean “Oak Park” is the way to go.

 

Friday evenings in Oak Park, IL

Oh its 952 pm on a Friday just trying to kick it and relax for the weekend, and that fucking idiot upstairs is playing with her dog. Yes, that a dog is bouncing around upstairs, barking and shit while I am trying to watch a movie. ..nice.

Yeah someone does not give a shit about anyone, and just wants to interact with this dog when they want to interact with them at night, late at night. Constantly from 10 pm to 3 am this happens throughout the week, you cannot complain to Greenplan Management because they are useless, they either take her side because “she’s older” (age discrimination) or they simply just don’t give a fuck.

Totally useless, if you are looking for an apartment in the Oak Park, IL area spare yourself some aggravation and do not rent from Oak Park Apartments or Greenplan Management you will thank yourself later. Oh and that dip bitch upstairs she is old and looks like God hit her with the ugly stick.. twice. Seriously.

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The Window on Sunday in Oak Park, IL

It was such a nice day on Sunday I decided to open a window to the courtyard and get some air into the place. Being a “vintage” apartment it can get stuffy and rank in this bitch. So I open up the window and thought “that’s nice” thirty minutes later Oak Park, Il showed its ugliness. “yep yep yep” that all I heard for like 15 minutes one of my dumb ass neighbors thought they should share their dog’s hyper activeness with the rest of the building.

I mean like we bought the dog, and are training it to be quiet in public right? No, my neighbor had that dog out there bouncing around and “yepping” so I go to the window to see the dog shitting and backing at the same time with…. The neighbor looking her ass my way! 

Uh look freak-o keep your eyes on your dog shitting all over the courtyard instead of looking and smiling at me. I closed the window and blinds and walked away. I moved to another window to stare back I guess without my ass providing a show she got bored and took her hyper dog inside. Wait! Without cleaning the dog shit up. (sighs) These neighbors in Oak Park, Il are ridiculous.

I wish I knew her email address so I could send here this:

A clip from the tv show Billions –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1OxEau2OS4

But she would probably respond like this clip from the movie I Love You, Man, the Psycho Bitch:  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHeh50MRaWk

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Laundry in Oak PArk, IL

Arrrghh So I did my wash and I dried it brought it upstairs from the laundry area downstairs to fold and what is all over it? Fucking dog hair!!!! And I do not even own a dog! Now, I know it’s a public laundry area but man you would think these residents would have some decency to not wash whole dog beds or dog pillows in the regular washing machines with regular clothes. Some people like to go to work looking professional, and not having to worry about dog hair flying off their clothes into the air, in front of bosses, clients or fellow co-workers.

Now I have to use a lint brush and sit here and spend an hour getting all the dog hair out of my clothes when I do not even own a dog to necessitate that I should spend time out of my day to do this! This is one of the reasons I do not have animals so I do not have to do extra measures for cleaning my apartment or my clothes. I have owned dogs before and I have been very cautious and thoughtful of others when walking my dog and cleaning such things as a dog bed (HAND WASH BITCH!). But never have I ever had to deal with such callous disregard for one’s neighbors, what If I was deadly allergic to dog hair and dandruff? Oh, that’s my problem right? Oh but if someone sues these fucking dog owners and the building management because of allergic reaction they are the bad person here? Fuck that.

That’s why I will every time I step in their dog’ nasty dog shit I will wash the shows in the washer machines so they can get the full effect of what their sloppy, lazy ass owning of their dog entails and how it really affects others. Oh and complaining to management that does dick, they cannot even handle simple common sense security concerns let alone do something about this type of nasty ass behavior. Fucking nasty ass people. Really.

This is a link for those of you who face the same shit I do with ignorant fucking dog owners: http://cleanmyspace.com/pet-hair/

Detoxing from Oak Park, IL

I have actually spent the time off detoxing before heading… Anywhere. Ha plus I have written a couple of posts about my experiences in the last couple of days and I am writing some posts and scheduling them for my favorite season, Halloween, already. So when you think that I have less to say, oh no, I still do! So that way I have a clear head, and body detoxed as best as I could from Oak Park Il and 2016 I am so glad to be rid of at least one of these pains in the ass from my life!

Hopefully this will be a better year but with the privileged Assholes in oak park, Il I sincerely doubt it because they also draw out some type of crazy fuckery out of their hats like an insane Magician high on crack and anarchy, ready to surprise the world with their shit and nut job ways.

Just drive thru Oak park, Il and You will see what I mean, from the bold pieces of shit doing u turns in the middle of Harrison street where there is no fucking room to the People who push baby strollers out into the middle of a crossway on lake street while trying to corral their dogs at the same time! Oak Park, Il is especially littered with crazy fucking attitudes, “going ons” (that west side talk), and stank crazy yuppie, hippie crossbreeds that make it a subject of endless possibilities to cover and write about, onward and upward mother fuckers.

Happy Christmas Eve!

Happy Christmas Eve from Oak Park, Il blog!

One of the things my family use to do on Christmas Eve was that we open at least one gift on Christmas Eve. I mention this because I really can’t have my family come over due to all the land mines my neighbor’s like to have their dogs plant into the snow on the sidewalk.

Now I just have to wait until Christmas day to exchange presents and open them but at least my shoes will be clean! So happy Christmas Eve people!  

Oak Park, Il needs to adopt these signs today!

The other I was out in Berwyn and I parked near the depot at 32nd street and I saw this sign that was from the heavens itself! This “Clean up after your pet… $750.00 fine….”  Sign!

Talk about curbing your motherfucking dog, paying off Oak Park, Il budget deficit, and relief from stepping in dog shit for like, forever get these signs over into Oak Park, IL asap! I would personally miss days of work to report people leaving their dog’s shit everywhere and not picking it up and I do not think I am alone. Oak Park, Il needs to adopt this ordinance post these signs and collect some motherfucking money today!

I know some of these lazy ass bitches I see who smile at me as I walk by their dog shitting on the sidewalk would be singing another tune about leaving that poop down there from people to walk in.

Adopt these signs today!

More Dog Shit on the sidewalk, leading up to the Apartment in Oak Park, IL

OMG its getting colder out and I am getting drunker because of the Cubs and the holiday season Woooooooo! Yea! So I am walking up the courtyard, up the sidewalk of my apartment complex enjoying life, being happy, doing the positive stuff! Thennnnnnnnnnn, of course Oak park, IL brings you back down, the littlest thing has a huge impact around here because this little dirty ass village does not let you rest. The impact is like the huge asteroid that killed the dinosaurs type of impact, with a little DOG SHIT all over the middle of the sidewalk to the point I have to walk in the grass where guess what? Where my fucking lazy ass dog owning neighbors let their dogs do their business, and DO NOT clean it up!

Neither does the property manager or any one doing any type of building maintenance for Greenplan management. Now not every dog owner is lazy, but the old lady upstairs for example, just lets her dog bounce around all day (as I found out on my one day off) for exercise then lets it shit and piss in the alley near one of my building’s back entrances. Rats food galore!

It is my belief that this is not is her dog, but this is the only entrance I can enter this building without the fear of being attacked by rodents! I was nearly attacked by raccoons when taking the garbage once. Therefore, my interest in keeping the area around the entrances clean is very personal, I even took pictures of how disgusting the situation was with the dog shit, in, the middle, of the sidewalk. It really gives responsible dog owners a bad name, and will probably give the management company a reason to raise the fees to have dog in these apartments. But oh well, you cannot fix stupid, nasty, or even fucking lazy.

Oak Park, IL related video: Intervention: Clean Up Your Dog Poop

This is the last video I am posting today (LOL) regarding irresponsible dog owners who do not pick up their dog’s poop and those who approach these individual owners. I hope you either get a laugh or a chance to see another point of view. I just want to explain how this is related: in Oak Park, Il there is a serious epidemic of irresponsible dog owners who just let their poop and their owners just do not pick up after their animals. Enjoy.