Thanks Oak Park, IL my new heels are covered in Dog shit

Okay usually as a writer I have something to “say” or write about, and this shithole Oak Park, IL is usually the bane of my existence so I write about that. However, do you know what I have been doing the last three days? Cleaning. Dog. Shit. Off my yellow Seychelles heels, I got from DSW four months ago! DOG SHIT!

I know what you are thinking:

Was she drunk as hell and just walked straight into a pile of shit, the lush?

Was she out late at night, dressing provocatively and this is the Universe telling her “don’t be out at night” type of thing?

Was she out late at night, and probably needs glasses because she did see that big pile of steamy shit, the dumb bitch??

The Answer is no to all that shit.

In fact, it was around 5:30 pm-ish when I came home I was just not paying attention. I know that is one of my golden rules when living in Oak Park, IL: do not let your guard down, pay attention. Well, I was on the phone with Sarah and talking about the weekend when I walked into a fresh pile of dog shit on the sidewalk. And obviously, it was a big dog or a human being who decided take a dump on the side of the main sidewalk in front of my building on Harvey. And either the owner did not clean up because they were too fucking lazy, or the latter I was just dealing with a disgusting human being who thought it was funny to take a shit. Right there. In front. Of the building.

If you know the type of shoes I am talking about you will realize I knew immediately I stepped in a fresh pile of shit. You know OPEN TOE heels it was so nasty I had to go immediately to the basement and wash not only my heel off but foot as well. It was so fucking nasty. I cried because I just started to wear these heels out and they complimented a bunch of outfits.

I had to use bleach, tomato sauce and three types of soap on my foot because it stunk like shit and this was on Monday so it was not like I had the weekend to get the smell out! Then my shoes I had to wash dry then wash again multiple times, I wiped it down with antibacterial wipes and then some lemon juice. After two days of airing out I think I can wear them but now I got like PSTD from this event that every time I look at them I think of stepping in squishy dog shit. Thanks, Oak Park, IL thanks.

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Friday evenings in Oak Park, IL

Oh its 952 pm on a Friday just trying to kick it and relax for the weekend, and that fucking idiot upstairs is playing with her dog. Yes, that a dog is bouncing around upstairs, barking and shit while I am trying to watch a movie. ..nice.

Yeah someone does not give a shit about anyone, and just wants to interact with this dog when they want to interact with them at night, late at night. Constantly from 10 pm to 3 am this happens throughout the week, you cannot complain to Greenplan Management because they are useless, they either take her side because “she’s older” (age discrimination) or they simply just don’t give a fuck.

Totally useless, if you are looking for an apartment in the Oak Park, IL area spare yourself some aggravation and do not rent from Oak Park Apartments or Greenplan Management you will thank yourself later. Oh and that dip bitch upstairs she is old and looks like God hit her with the ugly stick.. twice. Seriously.

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The Window on Sunday in Oak Park, IL

It was such a nice day on Sunday I decided to open a window to the courtyard and get some air into the place. Being a “vintage” apartment it can get stuffy and rank in this bitch. So I open up the window and thought “that’s nice” thirty minutes later Oak Park, Il showed its ugliness. “yep yep yep” that all I heard for like 15 minutes one of my dumb ass neighbors thought they should share their dog’s hyper activeness with the rest of the building.

I mean like we bought the dog, and are training it to be quiet in public right? No, my neighbor had that dog out there bouncing around and “yepping” so I go to the window to see the dog shitting and backing at the same time with…. The neighbor looking her ass my way! 

Uh look freak-o keep your eyes on your dog shitting all over the courtyard instead of looking and smiling at me. I closed the window and blinds and walked away. I moved to another window to stare back I guess without my ass providing a show she got bored and took her hyper dog inside. Wait! Without cleaning the dog shit up. (sighs) These neighbors in Oak Park, Il are ridiculous.

I wish I knew her email address so I could send here this:

A clip from the tv show Billions –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1OxEau2OS4

But she would probably respond like this clip from the movie I Love You, Man, the Psycho Bitch:  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHeh50MRaWk

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Happy Christmas Eve!

Happy Christmas Eve from Oak Park, Il blog!

One of the things my family use to do on Christmas Eve was that we open at least one gift on Christmas Eve. I mention this because I really can’t have my family come over due to all the land mines my neighbor’s like to have their dogs plant into the snow on the sidewalk.

Now I just have to wait until Christmas day to exchange presents and open them but at least my shoes will be clean! So happy Christmas Eve people!  

Oak Park, Il needs to adopt these signs today!

The other I was out in Berwyn and I parked near the depot at 32nd street and I saw this sign that was from the heavens itself! This “Clean up after your pet… $750.00 fine….”  Sign!

Talk about curbing your motherfucking dog, paying off Oak Park, Il budget deficit, and relief from stepping in dog shit for like, forever get these signs over into Oak Park, IL asap! I would personally miss days of work to report people leaving their dog’s shit everywhere and not picking it up and I do not think I am alone. Oak Park, Il needs to adopt this ordinance post these signs and collect some motherfucking money today!

I know some of these lazy ass bitches I see who smile at me as I walk by their dog shitting on the sidewalk would be singing another tune about leaving that poop down there from people to walk in.

Adopt these signs today!

More Dog Shit on the sidewalk, leading up to the Apartment in Oak Park, IL

OMG its getting colder out and I am getting drunker because of the Cubs and the holiday season Woooooooo! Yea! So I am walking up the courtyard, up the sidewalk of my apartment complex enjoying life, being happy, doing the positive stuff! Thennnnnnnnnnn, of course Oak park, IL brings you back down, the littlest thing has a huge impact around here because this little dirty ass village does not let you rest. The impact is like the huge asteroid that killed the dinosaurs type of impact, with a little DOG SHIT all over the middle of the sidewalk to the point I have to walk in the grass where guess what? Where my fucking lazy ass dog owning neighbors let their dogs do their business, and DO NOT clean it up!

Neither does the property manager or any one doing any type of building maintenance for Greenplan management. Now not every dog owner is lazy, but the old lady upstairs for example, just lets her dog bounce around all day (as I found out on my one day off) for exercise then lets it shit and piss in the alley near one of my building’s back entrances. Rats food galore!

It is my belief that this is not is her dog, but this is the only entrance I can enter this building without the fear of being attacked by rodents! I was nearly attacked by raccoons when taking the garbage once. Therefore, my interest in keeping the area around the entrances clean is very personal, I even took pictures of how disgusting the situation was with the dog shit, in, the middle, of the sidewalk. It really gives responsible dog owners a bad name, and will probably give the management company a reason to raise the fees to have dog in these apartments. But oh well, you cannot fix stupid, nasty, or even fucking lazy.

Oak Park, IL related video: Intervention: Clean Up Your Dog Poop

This is the last video I am posting today (LOL) regarding irresponsible dog owners who do not pick up their dog’s poop and those who approach these individual owners. I hope you either get a laugh or a chance to see another point of view. I just want to explain how this is related: in Oak Park, Il there is a serious epidemic of irresponsible dog owners who just let their poop and their owners just do not pick up after their animals. Enjoy.

 

Oak Park, IL related video: Man SHAMES Dog Owners Who Don’t Pick Up Poop

I have seen this video regarding irresponsible dog owners who do not pick up their dog’s poop and those who approach these individual owners. I hope you either get a laugh or a chance to see another point of view. I just want to explain how this is related: in Oak Park, Il there is a serious epidemic of irresponsible dog owners who just let their poop and their owners just do not pick up after their animals. Enjoy.

 

Wondering about that Rats-Dog poop correlation in Oak Park, IL

I was watching The Channel 5 news and they had this segment about fighting rats in the city of Chicago, that is bordering Oak park, il, with dry ice instead of the conventional bait poison they usually throw down when the residents’ report see rats to 311. And being a hater of rats, yes I do not think the “Black Death” in the middle ages was a good thing, sorry, I listened up.

One of the things that caught my ear was the fact that the head of Streets and Sanitation mentioned during the press conference that if residents could clean up their dog’s poop as it would help immensely. I tried to find the video clip of the Head of Streets and Sanitation stating that on the NBC 5 website but could not find it anywhere this is close as I came:

Chicago unveils new way to get rid of rats: Dry ice

That was from WGN Chicago’s website, but anyway it got me to thinking about Oak Park, IL and how the resident dog owners hardly pick up their animal’s poop even when there are actual signs posted to remind them to do so. I wondered how my neighbors, especially in this complex can attract rats with their laziness and straight up ignorance. My management company Greenplan management does not really regulate this issue at all, only charging the renter extra for their pet, nothing in regards to picking up dog shit, which in turn can be a health hazard and also become nasty ass rat bait.

Although I agree with the argument that it is hard for the company to catch these offenders I actually had no problem doing so, because these owners are so blatant about it. Hell, I hate to give ideas for making revenue to the village of Oak Park, Il or Green plan management because they are two entities that are complete idiots but why not raise the fees in areas that have a huge rat problem due to dog shit being left by the local dog owners.

Now that would make people wake up, to the issue, hell if I was going to be punished because my neighbor is a slob I would turn that mofo in five ways from Sunday! Obviously, if this head of the Streets and Sanitation in freakin Chicago, Il knows this is a problem then finding out who the lazy ass dog owners are should be easy. You know as a former dog owner I wanted to make sure this statement was true since I did not see it in later broadcasts, but I did find a number of sites online mentioning how dog poop attracts rats.

This is one of those (blog) websites: http://doodycallsdirect.com/Waste-Harms-Communities.html

So with so many websites stating this as a fact, and not trying to find out myself due to my hatred of rats and I do not like playing with dog shit I will defer to sites like this that the Sanitation’s guy statement was dead on. I hate to say it but this type of article only inflames my hatred for the lazy ass dog owners in Oak Park, Il. Those who either leave their pet’s shit on a neighbor’s grass and don’t pick it up or they pick up the poop and do not properly dispose of it! Meaning they do not throw in the garbage can, they just drop it on the ground outside their apartment entrance in the courtyard we both share. Ugh Nasty bitches.

I hope they bring this program to Oak Park, IL because this action is a whole lot easier than trying to change the cultural mindset of the lazy ass dog owners of Oak Park, Il. Seriously.

 

Watch where you step in Oak Park, Il hint: dog shit

Oh my gosh, I forgot about this story until I walked up my building’s courtyard. It’s raining out and one of the irresponsible dog owners here who got inventive with “walking” her dog. I hardly have people over because of the craziness I had with the neighbor upstairs, the fact that my building management hardly sends a maintenance crew to clean anything correctly over here (both stories for another time) and the fact there are “land mines” of poop everywhere!

My friend Sarah who came over from Richton Park, IL (lived there too) to visit, and I walked out to her car as she was parking it, that if she is going to park there, be careful where you park. And she was like: “yeah okay” you know, that attitude that “I’m an adult dude, chill” haha. I told her the reason I am saying this is for two reasons:

  1. Oak Park, IL has the most f-ed up parking restrictions in the Chicagoland area (please see the village’s yelp page) and if you are not moving your car every two hours, especially if you have or do not have a sticker to park in that specific area, you can get a ticket. Her eyebrow went up.
  2. When you park next to a lawn you have to be careful you do not walk into piles of dog poop, unfortunately, the irresponsible dog owners outnumber the responsible ones in my area. Her face crinkled. I told her seriously like they have free bags for the people who walk their dogs to clean it up, but the majority do not even use this option. She gave me a stank face.

So after I gave her the ground rules she got out the car, checked all the signs, her phone for the time (and actually set up a 2-hour countdown), then walked in the street and up the sidewalk to the apartment building. Sarah followed the rules and missed the grass altogether, we got up to the courtyard and checked her shoes. So why did she have dog shit on her shoe?? Hahahaha Because it was on the sidewalk!!!! We were so busy talking and looking at the lawn for deposits that we totally forgot to check the sidewalk! She was not happy with washing her shoes in the building’s sink it sure as hell she was not going to clean it in mine! Plus, we threw it in the wash for an extra measure since the washers are also used by the resident dog owners to clean doggy beds why not a shoe?

After two hours she got her and went to move her car, she came back and guess what? We had to wash the show again because she stepped in another pile of shit! HA!  Of course paid for the washing and drying of the shoes both times, and she agreed with me that it was “ridiculous” that people just were not that responsible with their dogs and cleaning up their poop. Well, that was the gist of her edited statement without cusswords or physical threats.

I was wondered how did this happen well I got proof! I took a photo of a dog owner standing in their building’s doorway with their poodle on an extended leash to use the bathroom. Why did they stand in the door way? Because it was raining outside and the owner did not want to get wet, but I guess it is alright for the kids who play in the courtyard to get covered in dog shit and piss or for the rest of us walking up the walkway to avoid the land mines felt by the dog? nice.

Please note: I do not blame the dogs in these rants of mine, only their owners for being so lazy and apathetic to others and their true responsibilities as dog owners. It is up to them to train their dogs, and clean up after them, in these cases I mention, I doubt any time was taken to let either occur.

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