Oak Park, Il: thanks for the bird shit

There are tons of trees in Oak Park and it is great! All these trees bring a nature feel to the area, to the concrete jungle, these trees bring a hippy “save-the-earth” atmosphere to Oak Park, giving oxygen back to the planet. All these trees in Oak Park brings squirrels, birds and bird shit tons of fucking bird shit.

This is fantastic city planning at work here people! Everywhere there is a parking spot it seems Oak Park tries to put a tree. Now you may think “No that’s a good thing, tons of shade in summer months…” blah blah blah nope it is not! Especially if you just went and paid to have your car washed and cleaned that same day and you have to obey Oak Park’s stupid parking requirements and basically park your clean ass car under a bird shit factory. Now your beautifully cleaned car has been covered in a layer of bird shit, what do you do now?

Of course, get it cleaned again at the car wash so that you can repeat the whole cycle all over again. The flying vermin that are partially responsible because they are shitting all over my car! However, they are just dumb animals that know no better, they are simply following instinct and nature.

The majority of the blame I place upon the city planners of Oak Park, thank you for the dumb ass design you created for the general parking situation in your area. My car covered in poop is the result of their incompetence, and I am probably not alone with that assessment.

Listen the parking passes in Oak Park are $300 a pop for 3 months (another gripe of mine) and are only good for certain times of the day, so that people can park under trees which are infested with birds, who then littered those same clean cars with shit. Thanks again Oak Park keep giving back!