Security in Oak Park, IL is a joke. No, Seriously

I have the worse locks on the face of the planet for all my doors did I tell you I had the master key to my building? Oh yeah so evidentially for some odd reason I just took a chance and used the front door to my apartment key on the front lobby door and it worked. Yeah. So, then I tried it again, again, and again. It worked for both doors I was like “what the fuck??!!!” Then providence stuck me with an idea: try out the back door.

Guess what? It worked there as well. Therefore, anyone with one of these keys, any one of my neighbors who wants to steal my 52-inch Television or wear my undies, smell my socks or jerk off on my bed can just walk in and do so. I told one of the property managers and he blew it off like “its Oak Park, IL not that bad an area” shit. Hence the chance of some dude wiping his ass with my toothbrush and putting it back so I can use it later is something no freak on earth ever thought of.

Hell, it means if this individual is sick enough they could come in at night and ram a cock in my ass, add on to that the idiotic police force here would say “it’s no evidence of breaking and entering” and “humor” me and my jacked-up asshole until they got done with their shift. All because someone had a master key. But I am the one with the key and I can go into any apartment I want and use their didoes in my ass if I wanted or their toothbrushes, eat their food, wipe my ass on their pillows to using mace on their commonly touched surfaces. Yeah if I was some crazy ass freak that is why I told the management staff to get me another key. I do not want to be the person who has a master key if there IS something that goes down at the apartment complex.

Shit, we have all watched enough Datelines on NBC to know I would be the easy suspect, my ass is too pretty for prison, literally. It took a lot to get the management company to change the locks and give me a different key like what the fuck But I got it done just took a couple of weeks. Weeks people, so much for security and having a lease that states the management company is “maintaining” the property as it should.

The lesson here is if you move to an apartment here in Oak Park, IL with Oak Park apartments i.e.: Green Plan Management, make sure you check the locks and have them change the locks before you MOVE IN. Who knows maybe even the old tenant has their old keys to your new place and could come by to visit you for lunch, while you are at work… that is if your neighbors don’t have a master key of their own and are already eating all your fucking lunch ables as you read this.

Thanks Oak Park, IL my new heels are covered in Dog shit

Okay usually as a writer I have something to “say” or write about, and this shithole Oak Park, IL is usually the bane of my existence so I write about that. However, do you know what I have been doing the last three days? Cleaning. Dog. Shit. Off my yellow Seychelles heels, I got from DSW four months ago! DOG SHIT!

I know what you are thinking:

Was she drunk as hell and just walked straight into a pile of shit, the lush?

Was she out late at night, dressing provocatively and this is the Universe telling her “don’t be out at night” type of thing?

Was she out late at night, and probably needs glasses because she did see that big pile of steamy shit, the dumb bitch??

The Answer is no to all that shit.

In fact, it was around 5:30 pm-ish when I came home I was just not paying attention. I know that is one of my golden rules when living in Oak Park, IL: do not let your guard down, pay attention. Well, I was on the phone with Sarah and talking about the weekend when I walked into a fresh pile of dog shit on the sidewalk. And obviously, it was a big dog or a human being who decided take a dump on the side of the main sidewalk in front of my building on Harvey. And either the owner did not clean up because they were too fucking lazy, or the latter I was just dealing with a disgusting human being who thought it was funny to take a shit. Right there. In front. Of the building.

If you know the type of shoes I am talking about you will realize I knew immediately I stepped in a fresh pile of shit. You know OPEN TOE heels it was so nasty I had to go immediately to the basement and wash not only my heel off but foot as well. It was so fucking nasty. I cried because I just started to wear these heels out and they complimented a bunch of outfits.

I had to use bleach, tomato sauce and three types of soap on my foot because it stunk like shit and this was on Monday so it was not like I had the weekend to get the smell out! Then my shoes I had to wash dry then wash again multiple times, I wiped it down with antibacterial wipes and then some lemon juice. After two days of airing out I think I can wear them but now I got like PSTD from this event that every time I look at them I think of stepping in squishy dog shit. Thanks, Oak Park, IL thanks.

JAYCAGO: Calling out foodies in Orlando, Florida!

JAYCAGO: Calling out foodies in Orlando, Florida!: Living in Chicago most of my life with a short stay in Pittsburgh early on, you think that all cities have the same restaurants, food specia…

Just reposting a blog post from someone I follow on Blogger.com/Google Plus!

JAYCAGO: Hmm…finding the right Pizza

JAYCAGO: Hmm…finding the right Pizza: The discussion continues Chicago vs New York style pizza, naturally being from Chicago my vote for is my hometown. I could eat pizza ever…

Just reposting a blog post from someone I follow on Blogger.com/Google Plus!

 

Oak Park, IL blog related: Forest Park stakeout at Bed Bath and Beyond -just kidding

I had to take this picture of a Forest Park police vehicle left running while the officer was walking around inside. What a great use of Resources and taxpayer dollars, this suburb deserves to be shoulder to shoulder with Oak Park.

While I was in this Bed Bath and Beyond with the cop I was shopping for a Yankee candle I love getting the food scented candles over that Flowery shit it also hides smells and odors that you don’t want guests to be turning their noses up to.  Yeah, that is a shot out to you my 420 buddies! I recommend the sugar and spice, sugar cookie, and anything fucking pumpkin you can get them with the $5 coupon or wait until The end of the candle’s season (pumpkin) to get it cheaper.

Here are some links to the candles I like to mask smells:

Yankee Candle® Housewarmer® Vanilla Cupcake Medium Classic Candle Jar

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/yankee-candle-reg-housewarmer-reg-vanilla-cupcake-medium-classic-candle-jar/1014644156?poc=111653

Yankee Candle® Housewarmer® French Vanilla Large Classic Candle Jar https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/yankee-candle-reg-housewarmer-reg-french-vanilla-large-classic-candle-jar/1012346743?poc=102826

Yankee Candle® Sugar & Spice Large Jar Candle

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/yankee-candle-reg-sugar-spice-large-jar-candle/1044430542?poc=220055

Yankee Candle® Housewarmer® Spiced Pumpkin Medium Classic Candle Jar

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/yankee-candle-reg-housewarmer-reg-spiced-pumpkin-medium-classic-candle-jar/1016040460?poc=116346

My disdain for Oak Park will never leave

Being a student of psychology, I hate to use labels and psychological terminology. But having lived and escaped from Oak Park, I swear I experience some sort of Post-Traumatic Stress whenever I come close to this town or have to drive through it.  For those who may think that statement goes too far, I beg to differ.

My heartbeat accelerates, my eye begins to twitch, I sweat, I curse, and my anger is stimulated.  All of this, as a result of living in Oak Park.  They say that life experiences can change you.  Well living in Oak Park changed me.  And not for the better.

For as long as I can remember, living out south in my youth, I always looked at Oak Park, through the lenses of an immature child. The full trees, along with the manicured and immaculate lawns, almost always drew me in. Well until I actually stepped out of the car, and begin to walk and experience the streets of Oak Park.

If the stress of avoiding dog poop, like landmines that are almost everywhere are not enough, try living near elderly white women who approach other’s like it is their duty to direct the village. Or how about digesting on a daily basis the name of Ernest Hemingway or Frank Lloyd Wright, whom this town utilizes in every marketing ploy imaginable.

Having had the opportunity of living there, I also experienced the lack of parking (I had to move my car at least two or three times a day to abide by the various parking restrictions), news reports on individuals from neighboring towns (the west side of Chicago) coming to this “precious” area to break into homes or cars, or businesses opening up one day, to be shut down the next (damn I miss Falafel).

It is not the hippie-loving easy going atmosphere that I presumed it to be.  It is overly congested, overly populated (with people and dogs) with know it all’s that embrace a very sheltered form of living.

The idea of “vintage” is actually a management’s office way of not updating the apartments. From my experience, painting already chipped “lead based” walls is not the same as updating the apartment.  But if you like to use the word “vintage” like Oak Park almost always does, keep in mind you may have old broke down living arrangements.  Thanks “Green plan management”!

There are many other great suburbs or towns to live in, that are not far from downtown.  After living in Oak Park, I opted out for one of these calmer cities that do not evoke my anxiety to levels of rage. You may want to do the same or at least consider it if you are thinking “No Park” I mean “Oak Park” is the way to go.

 

Busy at the beach, enjoying the weather, enjoying that it is not OakPark, IL!

I have been busy with the weather and enjoying it haha! When you want to enjoy the weather, of course, you have to go downtown to the beach, because there is nowhere for adults to enjoy the weather here in Oak Park, IL. I mean unless you are a freak or a perv, think about it who wants to go in shorts or a bikini to a park to “enjoy” the water selections at the local parks with all those kids around?

I mean there are tons of kids at the Lake Michigan beach but there is an understanding that adults use this beach as well. Therefore, going to a park in Oak Park, IL in a bikini is just crazy town because all the parents believe that the parks in the area are for “families” and their children, not for everyone else in this Godforsaken hellhole who pays taxes.

But the beach was amazing I did NOT take pictures however because I did not want to get jumped for my iPhone or my digital camera! Pictures of the lake or selfies are not worth getting my ass whooped by a bunch of teenagers for a phone in the heart of the city, in front of a bunch of strangers looking on, as I get smashed into the ground! Meanwhile, everyone will be thinking “she should have known better..” Ah, nope they are not getting me! But trust me it was crowded but the water was great I did shower when I got home because there is nothing like submerging yourself in a body of water that a thousand plus people are also submerged in.

It is too bad Oak Park, IL does not have the facilities to meet this type of demand, again, Oak Park, IL is losing out on another Positive business-community venture. Something that would make common sense also in the long run, but as most suburbs, they rather leave such opportunities to the major cities they are connected to and then wonder how to raise funds for next year’s budget! It is kind of hard (that’s what she said!) to get the dollars that can be made from this opportunity if you do not even try to be a part of it, or let someone else just “gangster” it.

Oh well, Oak Park sucks anyway, and I will be enjoying the sun and contaminated water of Lake Michigan in Chicago, peace out!

PS: Do not talk to me about those shitty little kiddie pools like at Ridgeland and Lake. Not what ADULTS want to swim in it all at –Thank you!

Chicago’s “The Cost of Segregation” impacts Oak Park, IL

The Chicago area that includes Oak Park, IL “has the fifth-highest” out of 100 big city areas in the country with a problem with a socioeconomically issue that is racially based. A report created by the University of Illinois in Chicago “The Cost of Segregation” this report talks about how the racial lines in the Chicago land area impacts the crime rates, the businesses that are invested in those areas, and how this all impacts everyone in the area.

Now how does Oak Park, IL get involved well in all this? Well the problems of Chicago, IL does overflow into this suburb especially since they share a similar boundary of Austin Avenue. Therefore, the ideal suburb must deal with the backlash of failed policies (economic, political, etc.) of the major metropolitan body it is connected to, and denying that Oak Park, IL is being impacted by it is just absurd.

Getting worried about a Taco Bell entering the area or that the Village board selling out creating high-rises downtown, is nothing compared to everyday issues that the people in the most segregation areas dealt with on a daily basis. Their problems of low economic opportunities sometimes translate into crime, that crime does not stay in that area.

It also creeps into Oak Park, IL, ignorance is not bliss, and partnerships across the borders of Oak Park, IL in the less opportune areas could help stymied crime bleeding into this area. Even Though Oak Park, IL does not seem to have a ton of crime it is best to keep abreast of the issues that impact the area. You can read more about these issues below.

The study from UIC regarding the racial disparities: https://news.uic.edu/new-report-details-chicagos-racial-ethnic-disparities

The Chicago tonight article:

http://chicagotonight.wttw.com/2017/03/28/report-segregation-costs-chicago-residents-billions-annually

The Cost of Segregation:

http://chicagotonight.wttw.com/sites/default/files/article/file-attachments/mpc_cost_of_segregation_web_EMBARGOED.pdf

Kathy Griffith’s Trump incident is indicative of Oak Park, Il

Now I am not left or right, just in the middle of all that politics shit. First, I did not like when people talk violent shit towards Obama and I did not agree with that dude on everything. I have the same standard for Trump even though I do not agree with him on everything either. So, when Ms. Griffith, an Oak Park, IL native came out with her little “stunt” with a beheaded man’s head that looked like Trump I simply pressed the “ignore” button again on this bitch, because it is simply classless and crass. Even though I can be both of those adjectives I do hold the line there in that type or any discourse.

However, when I saw crazy bitch on the news crying that the rest of the Trump’s family was talking shit towards her and that her career was effectively over I was like “No Shit what did she expect?” But she cried about her age and this “woe is me” shit then broke down even further when she heard her buddy Anderson Cooper said her photo shoot was “disgusting” I could only think “Yup she is from Oak Park, Il!”

Just like the lady who came up to me and asked if I could move my care from in front of her house, that to remind you I had a parking permit TO PARK there, nevertheless, her entitled ignorant ass shone through. As if she said nothing wrong and that she was entitled to say whatever she felt. With ignorance abound nowadays we are as Americans can say what the hell it is on our minds but to that extreme as with Ms. Griffith seems to be the average attitude of those in Oak Park, IL. Pissing off people they barely know and viciously in some self-absorbed manner! Then wonder why people fight back in the case of Trump or in the form of a blog like this one….

Here is an article talking about the crazy bitch crying and whatever…

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/ct-kathy-griffin-trump-photo-fallout-20170602-story.html

The Oak Park Housing Center sucks

I went to this “housing center” and signed up, waited, and a few people came in after me.

There was this single white chick who signed up as well (the same time I came in) and a black dude trying to fill out the paperwork (for two hours).

When it came to calling people to talk one on one about finding a place (of Course) the chick was called first after we both sat there for 45-minutes. As she was leaving I saw her Oak park area print out was of the inner Oak Park area, you know, Lake street and Ridgeland, tons of circles. I managed to see it because she was standing in our way talking on the phone about to her mum as it was our turn to go in!

When we were called and were rushed through (no sh*t) the process in about 15 minutes and given some crappy listings on Austin Avenue. Really?

The area that is borderline Chicago?

Who goes into a housing Center for Oak Park to be given listings basically in Chicago?

Well, we did not go back. Now fast forward, I get an email from them wanting to know how our search is doing “the information will help their non-profit” really? MONTHS LATER???

Plus they GAVE ME a DEADLINE to get back to them! LOL

Please pass this up and do the work.

I got me a better place on my own than with this place!

 

Contributor: Omir